As Valentine’s Day nears, couples are frantically trying to find the best gift for their significant other, and some singles are doing their best to block out the seasonal aisles full of heart-shaped boxes and big fluffy teddy bears.
Yet, some eligible bachelors remain hopeful, desperately awaiting the arrival of their crush with a boombox at their window, an intricately planned serenade at school, a big heartfelt confession, or an intimate letter left by a secret admirer on their locker.
However, if you are a student at Norwood High, forget any possibility of romance in your future because, according to the student body, the likelihood of any of this happening here is close to zero.
But is this opinion shared by friends and classmates alike just a dramatic exaggeration fueled by Valentine’s Day cynicism, or a pervasive claim based on sound evidence?
To find out whether this feeling was due to just a few isolated experiences or something more widespread, an anonymous survey asking students about their honest experiences with modern-day teen dating was conducted.
The goal was simple: to give students a safe space to share how they actually feel about romantic relationships and dating nowadays without names attached, without judgment, and without pressure from peers to think a certain way.
The responses revealed a not-so-lovely pattern.
A common topic in student responses was the feeling of being undervalued or misunderstood in relationships. Some shared stories about being broken up with over text, being led on for extensive periods of time, or feeling ignored during times of stress or struggle. Others mentioned partners missing important dates such as birthdays, games, and performances.
A few responses weren’t very dramatic and just described the lackluster energy surrounding teenage relationships. From bad date locations (McDonald’s, seriously?) to poor manners, and one-sided effort, dating doesn’t sound like it’s cracked up to be in the movies.
Some students blame the change on the shift from traditional relationship dynamics.
“Romance is definitely dying out because men want to be the girls in the relationship and they want girls to uphold the duties men should be doing… My cousin even bought her boyfriend flowers, and she has not gotten any from him,” comments Senior Adamaris Troncoso.
We’re going backwards… if we all die out and try again, maybe romance will come back, but we need to evolve again,” she adds.
Senior Sylvia Caparrotta summed up the generational gap and change in dating bluntly: “Men used to go to war, and now they slide into Instagram DMs.” Her comment, as silly as it may seem, reflects another recurring theme amongst responses, that modern romance is less romantic and more convenient.
So, what happened to chivalry and courting like the olden days? Did it die out with, according to the NHS student body, the last batch of sufficient bachelors?
Several students pointed to social media and its prominence among high schoolers as a major factor in the extinction of charm and passion. Meeting people organically at school, at work, or at the mall isn’t as common as it used to be, and talking to others through DMs or Snapchat has become the norm.
Senior Ella Gearty reflects on the role social media plays in dating.
“Everyone meets online now, so it kind of defeats the true purpose of going on dates with people… It’s so hard to connect with people when there’s so many of them on social media. If you’re on Tinder or some sort of dating app, you’re not meeting that person in real life,” Gearty explains. “You’re not making real connections, you’re making connections on social media. It’s almost like you’re dating a different person.”
However, while online communication can give you a glimpse into who someone is, a brief conversation through emojis and chat bubbles doesn’t always translate into a real emotional connection. How many people do you GENUINELY feel will tell their grandchildren in 60 years, “I met the love of my life through Instagram?”
Junior Daniela Parise blames the lack of favorable relationships on a widespread apathy for commitment and the rise of social media.
“Men have commitment issues, and none of them want to commit to our relationship. Casual, no thank you… Social media has played a part because men think it’s acceptable to do stuff over the phone, but it’s not, because I want more effort,” says Parise. “People also don’t have high standards anymore.”
And after all, it is much easier to leave someone on read than answer a difficult question or ghost them if you don’t want to share how you really feel.
Another common theme shared within many responses was the rise of casual relationships. People seem a lot less interested in commitment and more focused on dating around and keeping connections undefined.
“The idea of romance or truly loving someone has been significantly tainted by lust and lack of communication and emotion between people,” one anonymous grievance explained.
Senior Adamaris Troncoso shares her disdain for relationships without a label.
“I think they’re just an excuse for [someone] to be with multiple people at the same time, so they don’t have to commit or focus on them being the problem. They’re just being avoidant,” says Troncoso. “I’m in [a situationship] right now, so I’m going through it.”
However, if you are truly a hopeless romantic waiting for the perfect love story, don’t lose hope yet, because not every survey response was pessimistic or bitter.
Approximately 39.3% of all responders are now in a relationship, with some even clarifying that they are, after all the nightmare-adjacent experiences, in happy, loving relationships.
“I like my relationship now, but there have been other horror stories lol,” says one person.
“I love my [boyfriend] now, and he doesn’t do this,” said another.
“Two years on February 22nd!!” ecstatically shared another anonymous student.
And even the former romance critics eventually find their light at the end of the tunnel, a person who appreciates them, flaws and all.
“Don’t go searching for love. Let it come to you because that’s the best kind of love… I had a big crush on [her boyfriend], and then we didn’t work out, and I let him come back to me, and we’ve been perfect ever since. Good things come with time,” gushes Gearty.
“There are good men out there. You just have to put in the effort and search, REALLY search,” jokes Parise.
“I would say when you are not looking for love, that’s when you’ll find what is right for you. You don’t find love, love finds you, ” advises Senior Isla Wilson.
Still, the survey results made it clear that students aren’t just craving the chance to change their relationship status from single to taken on their social media profiles; they crave effort, sincerity, and a confidant they can rely on to be there for them.
So, if the flickers of intention and hope are still buried deep within even those who scoff at the Big Y Valentine’s Day candy section, maybe romance at NHS isn’t dead after all, and it’s just quieter, more complicated, and suppressed under failed dalliances and mixed signals.
And whether this changes is up to you.
With improved communication, honesty, and the bravery to wear your heart on your sleeve, maybe achieving the true love that we see shared between characters such as Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, Peeta and Katniss, and Noah and Allie, both on pages and on screens, isn’t completely unachievable.
The only question left is: will romance stay “dead”, or will our generation be brave enough to revive it?
